Category: Life in our large family


Unsay it.


I had a conversation with my young grandson today. We were in the grocery store and he told me that he thought I was mean. Well of course he can think I’m mean, that doesn’t bother me, I knew why he said it and I know that at 3, although he has an amazing vocabulary, he still doesn’t have the ability to accurately put emotions in to words. My comment to him was this, “Brastin once you say words you can not unsay them”.

 

It’s something that runs through my mind every time I yell at my children, or forget to be as kind as I should. My health and my emotional state right now, are not very conducive to happy chatter. I am trying really hard to focus on the needs of a very large family. Those words though, have been running through my mind all afternoon.

 

Once you say words, you can not unsay them.

 

How life might have been different for me, if the director of education at the church I used to attend, had never told me that I talk too much.

 

How life might have been different for me, if my music teacher never told me that I really shouldn’t sing.

 

How life might have been different for me, if the Coach Carr had never asked his star player why he was speaking to ‘someone like me’ (asked so tactfully and loudly in front of the entire home room class).

 

How life might have been different for me, if no one ever told me that I just never seemed to live up to my potential. Maybe I am not done living up quite yet.

 

My point is, that we all already know that words can’t be unsaid.

 

I only hope that I can not only help my children and grandchildren learn to be more mindful of what they say. I also hope as I attempt to teach them, perhaps I can relearn myself.

 

Life is tough for us right now, and kindness is being forgotten.

 

Looking forward to some better days with “You can’t unsay them” as my mantra.


Would it be too forthright to admit that life has gotten a hold of me and squashed my spirit?

If it is, my apologies if this revelation makes you uncomfortable.

I would like to know, who is here, if any one is here?

I have some big plans for the upcoming year. I’m just trying to whittle down the big dome of gloom that has my heart by the strings.

UGH.


I have three sons.

I have one that happens to struggle with Asperger’s Syndrome.

For a bit of a peek at what life is like, I’m sharing this video, but for some reason I am unable to embed it here.  So, please indulge me and go visit my Facebook Page where you can find a link to one section from the three part series This Emotional Life by PBS.org

I love the title of this series, and I’m almost done watching the second part. The thing is, I love the title because our life with Asperger’s Syndrome is just that, it’s LIFE.  My son is not sick, he doesn’t ‘suffer’ from Asperger’s, he is not intellectually or physically impaired by this.  He simply thinks a different way than what “THEY” say is normal (who are THEY and who the heck gave THEM the right to say what’s ‘normal’???)

My son is nearly 21, a college student, an active columnist for an online wrestling forum.  He’s just pretty darned cool.

Thing is, some people hear the term Asperger’s and associate it with Hollywood’s character of Rain Man. Love Rain Man, truly I did, but the character portrayed in that movie, has Autism, which is a related issue.

You see, there are many diagnoses that fall under the Autism Spectrum. None look the same and no one person behaves the same. The thing is, every person is an individual and every person with Autism, or Asperger’s or PDD-NOS, or Tourette’s or any of these other conditions, each one of them will be as different as the snowflakes are. That’s what makes human beings amazing.

For my son, being a little older it was very difficult to get an accurate diagnosis for him, and even when we did, it didn’t much matter. Aaron is Aaron. We adore him, and while there are some days that I know he’d wish his Asperger’s away, there are many many days that go by when neither he or anyone else would see anything different in he and a million other young men.

(I share his stories with his permission and he is very well aware that he can ‘edit’ me any time he feels the need)

I am sharing, because Autism and Autism related ‘disorders’ (again a term I loathe) are occurring in epidemic proportions in the United States.  I hope that what we’ve learned in our journey might help a parent who is traveling that road as well.

Again, please do view this video, you’ll find it on the Facebook Page